Comments on: Putting Up Walls

By: Frithjof

Frithjof — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 15:28:48 +0000

Thank you for sharing this Sharon!
I'll spend the rest of the day thinking of starting to write my own blog again… may be just on my hard drive for now.
Fortunately I had a much better experience with my therapist years ago. I was lucky to find someone that recognized my need for “hands on” help dealing with current issues that needed attention without too much focus on digging up stuff that wasn't needed.
In the mean time he taught me coping skills that help me every day.
Later a friend of mine who is a business coach did similar things on a different level.
It depends on who me meet when in our life that shapes the way we go.

By: stuartoneill

stuartoneill — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:32:34 +0000

What unbelievably bad luck with counselors. I've been in counseling for sometime with the right person and have found it terribly useful in getting perspective and creating change. I hope, if you attempt again, you find someone who doesn't offer any solutions. The job, as I've come to understand it, is to reflect back on you your own words while occasionally asking a question or making a comment or offering an exercise right on the spot. It works if the chemistry is right.

Taking down walls, once established, is so difficult I have no words. Once a person has learned how to be an effective 'actor' it's very hard to find the authentic self. Perhaps you can tell I'm still in the same quest. Hitting a balance between public and private faces is very hard.

Finding one's own authentic self is perhaps our deepest quest. There are books that caused a leap forward for me. I wouldn't presume to know if they are right for you. Until you ask your audience for rec's I'll not impose.

I know someone who compartimentalizes her inner self. Everything, including some real horrors as a child, has it's own little box....like a PO Box compartment. She's opened some of those doors and it helped. One allowed her to learn to create boundaries. That was a leap forward. There were, and are, others. Some opened, some not. All in good time with effort.

It's a useful image for me; A wall of little boxes waiting to be opened or left closed. I use it myself when I find I'm resisting something.

Thanks for the entry that caused such a long reply.

By: Donnette Davis

Donnette Davis — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:03:24 +0000

This is a very moving piece of writing Sharon. Congratulations on taking the initial steps to self-fulfilment. Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with us. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Much love
Donnette

By: tpr2

tpr2 — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:39:10 +0000

I just read the about page…we are twins….lol
I started weight training in 1982 and won 2 body building shows in 1986 with a 4th place at the Mr New Zealand competition.
Hmmmmm 20,000 miles… looking forward to the surfing lessons in 2010.
arohanui

By: tpr2

tpr2 — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:29:56 +0000

Hello Beautiful
I am very impressed with your courage in sharing some of your journey with us.
My Mum passed away 8 years ago now.
She went unexpectedly into the coma on the 10th of December and only came too for a brief few minutes on my birthday to ask the people around her if someone had made my Cheesecake for my birthday (something she did every year), wish me happy birthday and slip back into the coma.
She died on the third of January at age 54.
Like you I was purported to be a genius and a possible photographic memory (that's how the teachers explained my ability to do so well in tests) 28 years of beer and wine has obliterated most of my memory now
I have been to 3 marriage guidance counselors for the 3 failed marriages and found the experience to be farcical with me manipulating the counselors into talking about themselves instead of about me and the last one wanting to have sex with me in her office.
Like you the world see's the shining armor that is presented as we go through our successful lives.
Thank you for sharing so candidly, you are a fantastic writer and someone I am very pleased to call a friend.

By: Thomas Skennerton

Thomas Skennerton — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:05:24 +0000

Sharon,

A simply amazing inspirational read. I am so proud of you for persisting with what you thought needed to be done. It is an amazing journey you are on, and I am so honoured to see even the tiny sliver of it that I am fortunate to see.

You are an inspiration.

Thomas (@TferThomas on twitter)

By: Susan Smith

Susan Smith — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:57:38 +0000

My mother passed away about 12 years ago and I went through a similar experience. Not one person knew that I was falling apart on the inside. Somehow I found a book by Mairanne Williamson called “A Return to Love”. Perhaps her words will bring some clarity for you as well.

By: imrananwar

imrananwar — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:52:49 +0000

Shauna, was this written in an online journal or your paper diary? Would like to read it if online. Pls @imrananwar me on Twitter. Thanks.

Imran
http://imran.com/media/blog/

By: imrananwar

imrananwar — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:33:43 +0000

Sharon, this is very powerful writing, not because it was some literary work but because of how deep inside you it came from. That takes a lot of courage. Kudos to you. As an extrovert, highly social, Gemini, yet with a deep, even quiet, loner, side to me that the world does not see, I can totally empathize. I was fortunate that I did not have the challenging relationship with a parent as you did (my loss was losing my Mom at age 50-51 in 1992). A few words about it and a small clip at
http://imran.com/media/blog//labels/Parents.html will be poignant to you, if you have a moment to take a look.

I am sure your writing will help others who went through, or go through, the experience you did and do.

Imran
@imrananwar

By: Joseph Ranseth

Joseph Ranseth — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:25:52 +0000

Sharon, you are an amazing example to all of us.

Self-honesty is such an important & empowering step, and you are a true leader and an inspiration to all of us. I am certain that the impact of your contribution will never be fully measured; I can see the ripples already…

You are surrounded by people who love you.
Thank you for being amazing,

Joseph